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| Scott Parker doesn't sleep, he waits... |
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| There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Scott Parker allowed to live. |
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| Giraffes were created when Scott Parker uppercutted a horse |
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| M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Scott Parker can touch this. |
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| When the boogeyman goes to bed at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris, Chuck checks his for Joe Jordan and Joe Jordan checks his for Scott Parker |
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| Scott Parker can slam a revolving door |
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| Scott Parker was once stabbed by a knife. The knife bled to death |
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| Scott Parker sleeps with the light on because the dark is afraid of him. |
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| Scott Parker CAN believe it's not butter. |
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| Scott Parker leaves a message before the beep. |
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| There used to be a street named after Scott Parker, but it was changed because nobody crosses Scott Parker |
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| Scott Parker can cut a knife with hot butter |
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| Scott Parker's tears cure cancer … too bad he has never cried. |
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